How best to describe myself and this mishmash jumble of a blog…hmmm…okay, I think I’ve got a few thoughts.

Let’s begin, please, by pressing play…and then imagine if you would that I’m in a smoking jacket, pipe in hand, standing next to a fireplace, and I turn, pleasantly surprised to see someone has entered my drawing room.

Why, hello there, stranger. Oh, do come inside. You look cold, please warm thyself in front of my roaring fire. Have several high-quality alcoholic beverages of your choosing and let me tell you tales of wonder and imagination to soothe your troubled soul on this dark night.

Who am I, you ask? Why, I’m a goofball who has too much time on his hands. Perhaps you’ve read my blog? Couldn’t get through it? Well, I’ve been described differently at various points in my life, sometimes in flattering terms and other times by women who have dated me, but at my core I am much like Douglas Adams’ Zaphod Beeblebrox. I’m just this guy, you know?

My name is Geoff. I teach a little here and there and write professionally now and again. I’ve written essays/applications that have been accepted by MIT, HBS and GSB to name but a few, though my only personal experience in grad school was getting an MFA from UCLA, specializing in screenwriting, student loans and acronyms.

I’ve also dabbled in television and film, tried my hand at grant proposals, newsletters, crafted resumes and copyedited a bank’s mortgage application guidelines, though sadly that institution did not survive the late unpleasantness (through no fault of mine, I feel obligated to add). I’ve written a variety of speeches, press releases, website content and advertisements aimed at upwardly mobile twentysomethings with and without an abundance of discretionary income. If there’s some sort of writing that people are willing to pay money for that I will be able to put off until the last moment, then there’s a pretty good chance I’ve taken a stab at it.

While not consistently unemployed, I do struggle to find the perfect job (which I imagine is waking up at noon and walking a few feet to my couch to find a unicorn waiting for me with the daily delivery of donuts and a large check) but I make ends meet with a minimum of grifting, so life is pretty sweet when it all comes down to it. I spend most of my time traveling, goofing off, watching baseball, reading, eating junk food, napping, going to movies, complaining about first world white people problems (How awful is 3-D, right? My girlfriend’s Ugg boots are the wrong shade of magenta. My Netflix account was offline for five minutes yesterday, I about had a fit!) and indulging in any number of harmless and not-so-harmless vices.

You can read about my exploits and opinions on this blog, which is dedicated to whatever I’m in the mood to write about, but usually consists of travelogues, baseball and the occasional political rant/Bruce Springsteen concert. I also occasionally contribute to Beyond the Marquee, CommentaryTrack and Monday Night Writers.

I wrote a novel entitled Minor Adjustment, and if you’d like to buy it, read it, and then write nice things about it for the whole world to see, there’s a pretty easy link on the homepage to make that happen. Or you can just click here.

Mucking around with a camera is a favorite pastime, and if you happen to enjoy any of the photographs on the site and feel the urge to use them elsewhere, this pleases me and I will be more than happy to oblige should you simply contact me and ask permission.

Is Beethoven still going? A few more seconds? What else…what else…

Well, I’m a Cubs fan in Los Angeles, but keep mockery to a minimum, anyone can have a bad century. And this is me, with cappuccino on my nose, doing my best to strike a silly pose while sitting outside a café in Dubrovnik. Frankly, this photo sums it all up better than the preceding nonsense ever could.